Welcome to the Inconvenienced Blog. This is a Comedy and Gaming Culture Site all rolled into one. Alongside humorous articles, we'll also be be giving our thoughts on games, and the gaming industry as a whole.

Hope you stick around and get to know the place.

28 April 2008

Best read whilst tripping balls

Title unrelated.

Anywho, remember when I told you the other day about my mental condition? Yeah, I was only partially joking. There actually WAS a diagnosis pending and I am, in fact, mental. Off my rocker. Madder than a hatter on abestos and deliciously artery clogging Cinnabon sticky buns.

Maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but I shit you not when I say that I have been clincally diagnosed as "fucked up in the head." Like, by a doctor and shit. I'll spare you the scintillating details, but I can confirm that the disorder starts with "A" and ends with "DHD with predominate innatentiveness."

Yeah, that's right. AD-mofoing-HD. I always thought I might have had mild ADD at worst, and even then I thought I was over-reacting and blaming my lack of focus on a disease because being defficient because of a disease is exponentially easier to blame for missing homework than being a fuckwit. However, since God seems to have an unusual sense of humor, it turns out that I've always had a similar problem to that one neighbor kid that I always hated for being an annoying, fuckfaced, energetic loser. Que sera sera, I suppose.

I can't help but shake the feeling, though, that this is just modern medicine telling me why that it's ok that I suck. They tell me I'm going to get special meds, extra time on homework, special tutors, the whole nine yards and then some, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I've never really liked being treated special, to be honest; it's always felt like people are just humoring me when I get that little extra something that other people don't have access to. It kind of makes me feel like I'm cheating at life or something.

Still, I guess I'm glad I got this shit sorted out now. I don't think I have to mention how much of a pain in the ass it would have been had I gone to college without this information. My tiny brain probably would have exploded from the pressure.

Also, it turns out that the evaluation test I took had an IQ element to it that I was unaware of. It turns out that, while my visual processing of information is sub-par, my audio processing is FANTASTIC, and my total IQ rounds out somewhere around 130. That's right, bitches. I'm practically a motherfucking genius. Hell yeah. I'm a ne'er do well, layabout, lazy, innatentive, scumbag who is bad at expressing his ideas on paper and will probably never be good at any mathematical endvours, but at least I'm a SMART one.

23 April 2008

Updated as frequently as the Dead Sea scrolls

Wow, this thing is still breathing? I could have sworn it entered its death throes ages ago (about when it started), but I've been wrong before, and this time I'm rather grateful for it. Many thanks to Katana for showing some initiative and not only writing stuff, but writing decent stuff. Truly he deserves some mad props for that. Likewise, thanks to drunky for not just deleting it like most sensible people would have. His apathy and WoW addiction are useful for something, at least.

Anyway, yeah, it's me, and I am back to writing on a semi-regular basis. I say this tenatively, though, as I'm still hella busy with school work and my psychological state (diagnosis pending!) isn't exactly helping. However, my writing skill is begining to atrophy and I desperately need to practice my wordcraft, so I asked myself, "Why the fuck not?". I came up with several reasons, but I decided to come anyway and you're just going to have to deal with it.

Look out, world; Pwnzerfaust is writing again! (Poorly)

7 April 2008

8 of the best long-take shots of all time

Primer: A "long-take" is when a camera moves for an abnormally long time without needing to cut to another one. They are often used for feelings of extensive realism or just to impress people with extreme camera work. Often, CGI is used to splice together extremely long ones, or in some of the cases below, they are made almost entirely using CGI. I obviously don't know of everything, and may not have videos for them all, but this is from what I've seen.

8. The Matrix Reloaded: Burly Brawl (Beginning at 4:00)

This one is just barely notable to me, and to some it's just a nice bit of CGI. Keanu Reeves himself is in some of those shots, which shows some pretty nice mixing.

7. Star Wars Episode III: Opening battle (Ending at 1:20)

Like Reloaded, this one loses points for being CGI, but it's still very impressive and enticing, giving an enormous overview of the large-scale battlefield, then rushing the shot through close encounters with the engaging ships.

6. The Sixth Sense: Kitchen Scene ("Oh, you've got a spot!")
The first of our non-combat long-takes, and the first for which I don't have a video. In this scene, we move from the laundry room near the kitchen, into the kitchen where Bobby is having cereal. There is a short interchange between them, and she takes his tie back into the laundry room. When she returns, all the cabinets are open, with not a sound heard indicating such. There is another conversation between them before he leaves for school. Not amazing, but somewhat difficult to do in one take from the enclosed space.

5. War of the Worlds: Conversing in the van
So Tom Cruise is known for nothing more than Scientology now, but you can't deny it's pretty interesting how they got this shot done. The camera circles around the outside of what seems to be the only vehicle working for miles. The conversation held is pretty lengthy and the camera moves to each character as they talk.

4. Touch of Evil (beginning at 0:54)

The opening to Orson Welles' Touch of Evil would be pretty impressive even in today's cinema, but this was made long before even the invention of the steadicam. The camera starts on a closeup of an actor's hands, and ends several blocks down the street in another closeup. Even I don't quite know how they did it so smoothly.

3. The Protector

I don't like movies with throwaway plots, but I also love kung-fu flicks, so overall I enjoyed this; it's a really impressive shot that apparently took about a month of preparation. Some very nice moves in this as well.

2. Atonement (beginning at 0:46)

When I was first shown this, I was impressed at about 3 minutes. My eyes went wider as it went ON and ON. Additionally, all of the extras are very occupied with their various tasks, and it must have taken ages of choreography to get it right.

1. Children of Men: Take a Wild Guess
As disappointing as it is, I don't have a video for this one; YouTube videos of the famous 6-minute take have been removed multiple times. However, on the other hand it would be best for everyone that you watch this movie at your next available chance. Film appreciators everywhere were simply amazed at the fact that this didn't win Best Picture of 2006. Additionally, this isn't even the only long-take in the whole thing; there are at least 3 other scenes that I can recall from memory that involved extremely long takes. If you were at all impressed by the previous video of Atonement, I highly recommend you watch this movie the next chance you get.